The First Hunger Games
by TheSwedishGleek
Summary: Cleo is a seventeen year old girl who has just gotten back home to her districts after several years out in the war. She has gotten herself a family and is beginning to get happy when the entire district is being summoned to the courtyard outside of the justice hall. There they are being told some news that completely changes Cleo's life. Rated T since it is Hunger Games.
1. Memories

**Hi! I hope you will enjoy reading my first HG fiction, so far I'm quite proud of it :) I will try my best to upload new chapters as regularly as possible :D**

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As I stare out over what used to be a vast meadow covered in hundreds of different types of flowers, but that now is only a mere burnt field I feel my boyfriend folding his arms around me. I guess he knows I'm feeling rather bad about seeing this. It's nice though to feel his warm body holding me, making me feel safe. He's the only thing that I have won these last years. Most other things in my life seem to have been lost instead. It's all thanks to the Capitol.

Five years ago, when I was a sheer twelve-year-old, my so far simple and happy life as a merchandise daughter ended as the beginning of the rebellion came. I had heard for years my father shouting out that the rebellion would come, but I never really believed it would. So when it finally happened I was in utter shock for several weeks before it sank in. By then we had left our home with the rest of our village in 1 to hide in the forests surrounding our district in case that they would start to bomb the district or something.

When I realized what was happening around me I cried for days. My father and my older brother had left me to join the army. My much younger sister Carly, only five years old at the time, my mother and I were left behind. I didn't know what we were going to do. I didn't know how we were going to survive or anything, and after only a few weeks from home the food we had brought was almost all gone.

When people told me that the forest contained so much for us to eat I took my sister with me to gather plants each day with some of the other residences of our small camp. We ate everything and anything we could find that wasn't poisonous. Sometimes I followed some of the boys in our camp hunting for meat. I hated watching the innocent animals die but I knew we needed the meat. I used to set up traps because I didn't know how to use a bow or any other weapon.

One day they let me try one of their bows. It was quite large, I remember having huge problems trying to hold it and pulling back the string at the same time. The first time I tried it the arrow landed by my feet and the boys started to laugh. They weren't being mean though, they told me later that they had all looked stupid at their first attempt. And clearly the bow was too big for me.

I followed them the next day hunting too, in order to check my traps for game. I had good hunting luck that day. I got three squirrels and a thick beaver. They would give a lot of food to our group. Then the boys surprised me with a gift. It was a bow. They showed me how to use it, but when I tried it I couldn't get the arrow to go further than a mere five feet. I didn't thought this was something I was ever going to be good at. But none of the boys gave up on me and once I had started to train regularly with it I got a good deal better with it.

I started to follow the boys more often. I still used my traps, they almost always caught something, and there weren't all days we came across game. The boys thought me to walk more carefully, not stepping on any twigs. Soon enough I was just as good as them at hunting. But no matter how good I became there were still days that just didn't worked out. There were still days when we had to go to sleep hungry. This feeling of hunger was new for me; I had never experienced it before. I was used to always being fed properly. This entire life was new and strange to me. I began to wonder why we had to fight this war. So far it had only led to bad things. It had only led to starvation and families being torn apart. Well, at least from my point of view.

It was during these days that I met Mrs Shant. She was the apothecary's wife, and a very nice lady at that. She must have been in her fifties back then, but to me she looked so young and beautiful she could have been thirty. She had flowing curly blonde locks that framed her face and a smile that always were there encouraging all of us children. She had three kids of her own, but they all followed her husband when he went to take care of all the injured people from the battles. She couldn't though. Her health wouldn't let her make that long a journey. Instead she took care of everybody in our camp. Especially us children.

Mrs Shant was the one who made me see the rebellion as a good thing. As a possibility to make our lives better, to actually become free. Free from not only the bars that surrounded our districts or from the Capitol, but being free from the boundaries, being able to do everything and anything we wanted. I loved that idea. I dreamed about travelling, seeing places far off. Seeing what else there was in the world besides the vast forests, the diamond mines, and the confinement.

For five months Mrs Shant made us kids dream. To see the silver lining. But then she became much worse and couldn't walk out any more. So she slept for long periods at a time. Only waking up when one of us kids came and visited her. When she finally died all of us mourned her for weeks, not accepting her death. Our huge joy had suddenly vanished, leaving us yet again to take care of everything alone. It was then I figured out that I wished to help with the rebellion. So I followed the next group that left to join them. At only thirteen I was all alone, heading towards a war, no idea what I was actually doing. I was travelling with a few older men that had been left behind due to broken bones and illnesses, but also some other kids that too were around my age, not able to stay behind anymore, believing they could be of help somewhere else.

I didn't bring much with me as I left. Just my bow and a small photograph of my family. I didn't need anything else. But the further we traveled from our camp, the more I started to miss everyone I knew. Mother. Carly, sweet little innocent Carly. My friends. I wondered what they were all doing. I still don't know how many nights I cried myself to sleep during our journey because I missed them all. And every night I wondered if they missed me too.

When we after weeks of walking finally reached the army, we also found the armies from district three and eight nearby. I and the other kids were directed to a minor clearing in the woods nearby, where a small hospital tent had been set up. The hospital was probably set up there so that it would be a hard target for the Capitol, considering that we really needed the doctors.

And I guess it was due to our young age that we weren't allowed to actually go into battle, but this suited me just fine. I probably wouldn't have been able to kill anybody anyway, even though I was good enough with my bow and arrow. I gravely disliked killing animals, and the thought of killing other people was sheer torture. It still is.

When we came into the small tent, a tall black-haired woman showed us around. She told us what we could help with. It was mostly stuff like feeding the ones that couldn't eat by themselves or cleaning up wherever we could. Helping the nurses. So we did.

That first day was horrible. There was so much blood to clean up that I started to feel sick. I could see on the other ones faces that they too felt awful over it. And I really wish I could say that the blood was the worst thing I had to clean up that day, but of course it wasn't. Considering that this was a fairly small tent for being a hospital, there lay injured people everywhere with different diseases. I saw people coming in with their flesh falling off bit by bit from extreme burns, waiting for me or another kid to clean it up. I saw bones sticking out of peoples bodies, I saw people with so bad cuts that you could almost see through them. I don't know how many peoples vomit I was forced to clean up after.

I wish I could say that the sight of all this was the worst we were exposed to, but I fear that it was the smell of the place that haunted me the worst. The entire place reeked of burned flesh and vomit. It was a huge reveal being allowed to leave when the night came.

I was shown a tent where I would live with some of the other girls from the hospital. The tent wasn't that big to begin with, and we were a dozen girls sleeping in there at the same time. It was fair to say that it was a shortage of room, but we all managed to find space to sleep in. I was allowed to keep my things on my bed, there wasn't any place else to put them. Being in the war proved to be a lot more different than I had thought it would be. The last thing I did before falling to sleep was watching my picture of my family while wondering if I had done the right choice by leaving.

* * *

As the years passed on I saw too many children working in the hospital, waiting to become old enough to join the army at fourteen. I however stayed along with a few others, the place and the work grew on me, and I liked it. After some time we were allowed to do more and more things. When I was fifteen I could do everything the nurses could. I felt great joy each time I saw someone leave our tents healed from their injuries, whether this was a simple flu or even a nasty shot from a bullet. I realized this was where I belonged, with the sick, the weak, and I would never have fitted being a soldier, doing the exact opposite. Killing.

I stopped seeing how much like a battlefield this hospital actually looked like after a while. I had been here for so long it became something natural. I was used to seeing fresh blood around me at all time, to always have an odor of sweat and burned flesh reeking in my nose. It all became part of my life.

The only horrible thing about working in the hospital was really the fact that you had to see way too many soldiers die from their wounds and diseases. More than half of the people that came in through our doors never left again. All due to shortage of proper medicine. It all made us resent the Capitol even more.

A few times I met someone I knew in the hospital tent. A friend from back home, an old neighbor, one of my father's old colleagues. I always sat down next to them and talked to them about what had happened since the last time I'd seen them. Sometimes one of them carried news of my family, and it was always such a relief knowing that they were still alive. But they could also give me bad news. I got to hear about people I had known who had fallen victim to the war, who had died in the battlefield. Who hadn't been lucky enough to make it. Whether or not the content of our talks were good or bad I always found myself a bit more cheerful afterwards.

I still went out hunting sometimes, but I worked so much that it doesn't happened that often. The few times I got out into the forest I usually didn't hunt at all. I just hung my bow over my shoulder and walked around, feeling the peace surrounding me. It happened that I stumbled across animals on my walks, but it wasn't often I tried to kill them. It really only happened a few times, on special occasions. Like the time I came face to face with a huge deer. Since the war had begun I had only eaten deer once, and I knew it was the same with most people that I knew. When I saw the deer's body fall down on the ground I felt a small bit of contentment, but also some sorrow. It had been a long time since I killed an animal and it still hurt.

I traded myself a small tent with that deer. It was big enough for two people to sleep in, but it was so low I couldn't sit up straight without touching the top. But I loved it. For years I had slept in that crowded tent with a dozen others, and it was such a relief to live alone. To have space so I wouldn't have to sleep on my bow that had caused me back pain numerous times.

One day when I came to work I was set to assist Mr. Shant as he was taking out grenade shatter from a young soldier's body. It was a long surgery. We were out of antistatic, but luckily the boy was unconscious during the procedure. There were so much shatters all over his upper body that it became hard to get it all out. I helped the best I could. I cleaned up the wounds where the shatters had been. I helped with holding some of Mr. Shants instruments when he couldn't himself. I helped in any way that I could to make sure that the surgery would go well.

Once Mr. Shant finally felt content with his work I still however had a lot of work left to do. About half of the golden haired boy's wounds were still gaping, and they all had to be cleaned and bandaged. I called over one of the younger children to assist me with this. It turned out to be Ruby, a young girl from seven that came to help me. I liked her; she was sort of like me. She was about twelve at the time, and the red hair that she was named after was tied up in a ponytail, wiggling each time she moved ever so slightly. She dipped the napkins I used to clean the wounds with water before giving them to me.

Sometimes I looked up at the boy's face. I remember how serene he looked in his sleep. Not all soldiers do, most of them have been in the war for so long their worried expressions never change. I found he was sort of cute and I couldn't really stop looking at him. I often peeked up at his face, getting a small glimpse of his face before looking down on my work again.

When the last bandage was placed I looked up at him one last time before leaving. He had a small lock of hair that lay across his face so I reached over and stroke it away. As my fingers reached his temple and fastened the hair behind his ear I felt something. The boy moved underneath my touch. Not a big move though, only a plain shiver, but it gave me hopes that he might get better. That he might stay alive.

Throughout the entire day I checked up on him every time I was nearby. He didn't wake up though, and when I went back home to my tent I wondered how long it would take before he'd wake up. If he'd wake up. The next morning however he was still unconscious. I sat down next to him and carefully took his hand in mine. Then I just sat there. For an hour I just looked at him, wondering if he wouldn't wake up soon. I don't know why I felt so obsessed with this particular boy. Usually my patients never stayed in my mind for this long. I guess I just knew that he would matter in my life.

When I placed his hand back on his bed I felt a small squeeze from him around my fingers. I looked up at him and saw his eyes opening. He was awake. Tired, weak, but awake. He looked to be in pain so I sat down next to him again and looked over his wounds. They all seemed to be fine so I grasped a bottle of water and let him drink from it. He seemed a bit perched. Understandable – he had been unconscious for at least twenty-four hours. I told him where he was, and what had happened to him. He looked pretty confused about all of this. I guess he hadn't had time to understand what had happened to him before he passed out. I stayed with him for hours, talking soothingly to him in the beginning, making sure that he didn't exhaust himself and his injured body. I let him drink some more, but I thought it was too soon to let him eat some food. He fell asleep for a while, but I felt better knowing it was a normal sleep from being exhausted. When he woke up I asked him to tell me about himself.

With a dark, but very sweet voice he told me that his name was Chord and that he was sixteen years old. He told me about his life in District 5 before the war began. Apparently his parents died when he was just a baby so he grew up in the nursery home. I know that the nursery home in 1 is quite… awful to grow up in. There is hardly any food for the children to eat, so most kids doesn't make it to adulthood. And the ones that do… Well, they are not usually so happy about their place in life. People who grew up in nursery homes in 1 tend to become rather cynical, but according to Chord it is much worse in 5. He only became so nice since he had a friend outside of the home that looked after him.

Apparently Chords parents' closest friend - Claude - used to check in on him a few times a week. He made sure that Chord had enough to eat and had everything else necessary to at least live a bearable life. But even though Chord got to have a somewhat good time at the nursery he was forced to see all too many children starve. That was why he joined the army when the rebellion came. He wanted to make sure that no children would starve again.

I looked into his brown eyes as he told me about this, and I could see every emotion he felt show through them. I could tell when he was sad about the children. I could tell when he was angry, probably at the Capitol.

I wanted to ask him more about himself but Mr. Shant called on me before I got to it. I excused myself to Chord and hurried over to Mr. Shant. He wanted to know how Chord was doing, so I told him that he was rather okay considering his injury.

When I finally was allowed to go back to Chord he had fallen asleep again. I wasn't all that surprised, he seemed very exhausted. But I felt a bit disappointed. I wanted to talk more with him. He seemed to be a really nice guy.

For the following weeks I spent as much time that I could spare next to Chords bed. We could sit there, talking, for hours. Sometimes we were just silent, not even looking at each other. I believed he felt it to be a great comfort knowing that he had a friend in this place. And I, well, I liked knowing that too.

As we sat there talking his wounds slowly healed. The once gaping flesh wounds grew together, leaving scars all over his chest. We had tried letting him get out of bed a few times, walking around, building up his muscles again. It didn't go that well though; he soon was all out of energy and had to be led back to bed again. Even though he no longer was injured there was no way for him to be let back into the army in his condition, so when they needed his bed in the hospital I took him with me to my tent so he could sleep there. Of course it felt weird to have a boy sleeping next to me, but he was only my friend I told myself over and over trying to fall asleep.

But however strange it was falling asleep, even stranger it was waking up. During our sleep we had crawled together so that I slept with my head on his chest. My hand resting on his muscular stomach. When I opened my eyes I froze for a long time not thinking of anything before leaving without having said a word to him. I didn't even know if he had been awake too. I didn't know if he knew what had happened during the night. That entire day I worked as in a haze, I just thought about Chord and didn't focus on anything else. What had happened? Why did I react the way I did? What would happen next? Could I look him in the eyes when I got back to the tent? Would things be the same? Would things change, and if yes in what way? Would he know what had happened at all? Questions that remained unanswered the entire day. Questions that only made me ever so more confused.

When I came back to my tent I took a deep breath before stepping in, certain not to let the mornings events change anything between us. He surely didn't know anything about the mornings surprise at all. It was just my silly mind that was worked up for no reason I thought. But as soon as I got in I felt his arms around my waist pulling me down towards him and before I knew it his lips touched mine. And before I knew it, I kissed him back.

* * *

I look up at the sunset that is coloring the sky orange. It's very beautiful. It even manages to make the burned meadow look somewhat fine again. I snuggle in even further in Chord's embrace and just savor this moment. Knowing that despite all that has happened these years he is by my side and will always cheer me up again.

I feel him leaning down his head and soon he kisses my neck. His touch sends shivers throughout my body; every kiss he gives me makes my body tingle with enjoyment.

"What are you thinking about?" he mumbles in-between gentle kisses. I turn my head ever so slightly towards him before answering. "You. About when we first met." He kisses me under my ear which makes it hard to continue speaking. "About that night… in the tent." I turn my head even further and he greets me with a kiss on my cheek. On my nose. Forhead. Other cheek. Lips…

I lift my hand and put it gently on the back of his head, pulling him a bit closer, making his lips press even harder to mine. I whimper a bit, out of enjoyment, and he smiles at my sound but doesn't pull back even the slightest. I start to tug his hair a bit, showing just how much I love this.

I bend his lips apart, greeting his tongue with mine. We let them play for a bit. We know each other well, but it still hasn't become a ritual behind our movements. It is still new actions every time. There are always new things to explore, new things to discover about each other. Well, not only about the other but also about ourselves.

All too soon it ends though and we lie down on the ground next to each other. I lay my head on his arm, as close to his body as I can possibly get. There I snuggle down, allowing my hand to rest on his chest. I can't believe it has already been almost two years since that first kiss. So much has happened since then.

I remember how I spent every moment awake with him since he kissed me that night in our tent. How I helped him build up his muscles. How I helped him train with his weapons again. Learning his limbs to move the way they once used to. Always dreading the day when he would rejoin the army, leaving me again. Fearing for when that moment would come.

I feel Chords warm body under my touch when I think about how he never made it back in the army before the rebellion came to an end the year after his accident, with him still recovering from it. Our leaders had forfeited and signed an agreement with the Capitol. I don't really know what this document said exactly, but I know that it meant that we could go back home again. Since Chord didn't really have a home waiting for him I asked him to follow me to District 1 during one of our last nights in our camp. He only looked over at me, kissed my forehead and simply said:

"Of course". I had fallen asleep easy that night, believing everything would turn out right. I didn't expect what lay waiting for me at my return home. I can still see the picture of our burned down house in my mind. I remember falling on my knees in its remnants, tears streaming down my cheeks and down on the remaining ashes. Chord had taken me in his arms, allowing me to grieve with the safety of his arms surrounding me. He helped me to my feet when the tears stopped coming, and then led me away from my former home.

My family still hadn't come but somehow I didn't feel worried at all about them. I knew they were on their way home, on their way to me. I was more worried about what they would think about our home, and about Chord. I hadn't seen my mother for four years, and I hadn't seen my father since the rebellions beginning. Who knew what they would think about my current life, about my choices. They might love them, they might recent them. I really hoped they would like Chord though, I would hold on to him for the rest of my life.

I can feel how a tear falls down my cheek when I remember that hateful day when everything bad in life seemed to happen to me. The day had actually begun so great, waking up next to Chord in our tent, sharing some sweet kisses before getting up. We had begun building a new home for us and my family when they would come, so we went to continue constructing it. We didn't build it were our old house used to be; I couldn't stand the thought about living there. The memories from the rebellion already haunted me and I couldn't imagine what would happen if I would live in a new house on the exact location of my old one. I would always be remembered about those happy days before the war, I wouldn't be able to let go of it.

We had just taken lunch from our building activities when we saw a massive group of people coming towards our district. It had been like this every day since we arrived last week. More people coming back home from their hideouts or camps during the war, ready to come back to their old life, their old district. Every day I had been looking out for my family, but they still hadn't come. This time though I saw a young girl that kind of resembled my sister, only older, walking with the group.

I ran towards the group with some other people also expecting their loved ones to come back. I didn't know if Chord followed me, but I supposed he stayed behind, allowing me to meet them myself if they happened to be there. As I came closer to the group I saw the girl clearer and I knew I was right. It was my little sister Carly walking there with rosy cheeks and long blonde hair flowing in the wind. She was so beautiful; she had grown up so fast. I still remember her as a little five-year-old, afraid of the dark and always so shy. Now she was ten years old, time had gone so quickly. I still felt guilty about leaving her alone with my mother, not being able to protect her as I used to. I looked around the group of people searching for my mother's face, but it was nowhere to be found.

"CARLY!" I cried as I began to run faster, watching as she looked in my direction. I couldn't see the expression on her face, but she stopped for a second and lifted her hand to cover her eyes from the sun as she looked once more towards me. Considering the sun was behind me it was probably quite hard for her to see me clearly.

"Carly!" I yelled once more and then I saw her beginning to run in my direction as she screamed:

"Cleo!" Oh, how wonderful it felt to hear her voice saying my name again! It meant she hadn't forgotten me, that she still knew who I was.

When she reached me I hugged her tightly to me, stroking her hair several time and kissing the top of her head. Her hand clung to my back and I heard how she started to cry, I assume from joy, and I also began to cry a bit.

I cleared my throat after a few moments, having looked around our surroundings searching for our mother to no avail, trying to ask about her but I could only utter a two simple words:

"Where's… mother?" A short moment passed before she lifted her head from my shoulder so I could look at her face. I realized she hadn't been crying from joy, rather from pain. Her eyes showed nothing but pain, nothing but deep sorrow. It caused my heart to clench, to wrap around in knots. She was gone. Mother was dead. The words spun around my mind, circling through every corner of my brain. She was dead.

Before I had cried out of happiness for finding Carly, now I began to cry out of loss. I hugged my sister tight to me as we both cried our hearts out. Together we showed our utter loss. But just as the feeling of losing my mother finally began to sink in Carly uttered the absolute worst words I could hear at that moment:

"Cleo… Dad and brother… They're gone too…" No!

* * *

That is how I ended up here, next to Chord about six months after our return to the district, laying in the remnants of my former life. I can't tell how much I owe this boy. He was the one who picked me up and made me shine again. He was the one who made me live again after they died. He was the one who made me see all the beauty that was left in the world, despite how awful it seemed back then.

Thanks to him I realized that even though the nature would burn down, it would rise again, giving more life than it did before. And so would I. When the memory of my family finally faded I would be happier than before.

He made me see that even if I were unhappy, there were so many others that had it even worse than I. He made me see all the ones that had lost their wife or husband, all those who had lost their children to the war, and all the children who had lost their parents. He made me realize that I at least still had something to hold on to – they didn't. He made me want to help in any way that I could, so together we 'adopted' some of the children that were left with no home. We never signed anything or so – we just let them into our home, wanting nothing but take care of them.

I turn over again so I face Chord once more, and I kiss his cheek before standing up and reaching out my hand to him. I help him up and we walk together to our home, were Carly and our 'children' are waiting for us.

* * *

**So... If you liked it please tell me, and if you didn't tell me what was wrong with it :)**


	2. Announcement

**Here's the second chapter :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hunger Games in any way, but I really, really want to :)**

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I don't understand why we all have to gather in front of the justice hall. They never told us why, only that we had to be there. We understood the seriousness behind it though; the peacekeepers did look very stern, as if the choice of disobeying didn't even exist. So we came here, and I stand together with Chord and our children. Through the course of these last four months we had adopted three of the orphan children that were living on the streets. But even living on the streets is better than being dragged to the orphanage. It is a tiny cottage, with a leaking ceiling and water damage all over the place. And those who end up there will starve. People have no money to give away to the place yet. We're all still rebuilding the district; all of our money runs out as soon as we get them.

I look down at Zane – a twelve year old boy who I knew from before the rebellions beginning. He used to live a few houses down our streets and was a good friend of Carly's. He was an only child to the Whistlewart couple, and when the war began both of his parents joined the army. They never came back. So this little boy with his beautiful brown eyes and matching hair were left alone to wander the streets. When we first welcomed him into our home he was utterly thin, so thin his ribcage was showing fairly well, but now a few months later he has begun to get a layer of fat on his body.

He really is such a sweet boy. The rebellion has given him nothing but pain and sorrow, but he can still see the goodness in life. He is so kind with the other three children, and has even taken on a roll of being their big brother, protecting them from every possible danger. He even beat up a kid who made fun of Niles' braided hair, and we didn't even have the heart to lecture him about it afterwards. He looked so sweet with his eyes burning with anger over that incident, so I just sent him to the other kids to play before smiling towards Chord. After that, none of the other youngsters even tried to tease any of Zane's 'brothers and sisters' in fear of receiving the same treatment.

With a huge grin on my face my eyes wander on to Niles, a chubby little six-year-old girl with apple red cheeks and a constant look that seems to always question the world. I don't really know what she has been through these last years, she won't tell us anything about it. She actually won't speak much at all. I don't even know if she actually origins from this district, but I love her all the same anyway. Even if I constantly have to remind her that we won't go, that every day when she wakes up we will still be there waiting for her to get up, that we will stay by her side forever, I will always love her. She is such a sweet innocent child, and it's a great shame that she had to go through so much horror at such a young age.

Even though she is quiet, I can sometimes see signs where she lets us know how much she cares for us. A short look of awe or maybe even love here or there, a small pat on our hands, an act where she's displaying her feelings. It always makes my heart warm.

She is Chords little jewel. They understand each other completely anyway. At times when she's really unhappy Chord is the only one who can make her smile. They have a special connection, something I can never understand. She actually seems to trust him.

I leave the sight of little Niles and look up at Carly. She has really become so much stronger since I left her in the forest with mother. When I left her at mere five she was so shy and… well in lack of better words, weak. The way I remember her anything could've broken her, and that's coming from a girl who missed out on two weeks of her life because she lost her mind leaving home. But now, now Carly is much stronger. She helps me and Chord with everything, she takes such great care of little Niles, she protects her when she's threatened and she comforts her when she's sad. And not is she only a strong and brave little warrior, she is also going to become such a beautiful woman. With her blonde hair and purely mesmerizing blue eyes that is always radiating with warmth she will be swarmed with boys later on, enchanted from her eyes.

I sort of fear for the arrival of that day, I don't want to see her end up with some jerk who only goes after beauty. I want her to find someone who loves her for her, not for her looks. Someone who can see her warmth, her humor, her strength. Someone who will always stand by her side. But even if I fear for this day, I also long for it. I long to see her start her own family, get her own children. She will be such a terrific mother, with all of the love and care that she withholds.

I smile a bit as I gaze over at Iason, he is only three years old but he is already such a charmer. He's always smiling and really loves to just hug everybody. Even now he stands with Carly's arms around him, really soaking in her presence. I almost begin to giggle as I remember how he walked over to our neighbor Mr. Overwill one day earlier this week and just hugged him. Iason couldn't reach so far to hug him around his neck so he just settled with hugging his leg which forced Mr. Overwill to stop what he was doing. He was really proud of himself later when he came back too. Oh, I hope he will never change, that he will always be sweet little Iason. He will probably be just as popular around the girls as Carly will be with the boys. Or else I will eat up my hat! I don't own one, but still.

I don't look over at Chord, I just feel him standing beside me, holding his arm around my waist. It's comforting when he does this; it makes me think he will never leave, even though I know he won't. I tilt my head down so it can rest on his chest and I close my eyes, so I can focus on hearing his heart beating. Dunk-dunk. Dunk-dunk.

I guess both he and I have grown up even more since we adopted the kids and became a family. As so many other young people in this country we have been forced to grow up so much quicker than the generations before us, but after we got them we have sort of understood why things are as they are, why everything has happened, why it is important. And then at the same time, we have actually managed to keep our youth, at least in some ways.

I love this family of mine. Just a few years ago I would've never dreamed of this, but now that I got it, I could never think of it being any way different. I can't see it being any other way than me preparing Zane's and Carly's lunches for school before sending them there, preparing games and other fun for the additional two for the entire day while Chord is off at the factory where they make high-class jewelry, working. I guess he was really lucky to get work there, it means that I wouldn't have to work too but can focus on our young kids instead, but I really do love to work so I will try later on to get a job, when Niles and Iason are ready for kindergarten.

When I first came back home I couldn't wait to start working, but now I have found out that I love being at home with the children also. I am such a housewife. I used to make fun of the housewives that lived on my street back in the days, claiming that they had no real life, that they were lazy, but now I have realized the joy that lies in it. I have learned about the happiness that taking care of a household can bring, of spending the entire day with the children. Of watching them grow day by day right in front of your eyes. Now that I have learned this lesson I dread the day when Niles and Iason will begin going to the local kindergarten.

So far they're not ready for that though. Niles is still so unsure about everything, and even though Iason can play and be happy around everybody he still gets a bit scared when he hears certain noises or sees particular things, and so far I and Chord are the only ones who can calm him down once he is scared. As soon as this changes though, as soon as other people can cool his temper, I will begin to seek employment. Secretly I hope this is far in the future though.

I guess I could work at the local hospital then, I do have much knowledge of the practice and they really are in need of more experienced staff. They are also harsher with the people they hire. Unlike other employments they require that you have much experience in the field, they don't hire those who knows nothing on the matter of healing.

And I do so know some of the one's that works there; I remember Mrs. Yule, a middle-aged woman who worked as a doctor next to Mr. Shant out in the war. She was really nice. Quite strict, but nice. I think she'll remember me well enough to hire me… It was a shame that Mr. Shant didn't come back to this district though, but went to district nine once everything ended. I don't even know why, but I think it has something to do with the memories of everything; of his wife and his former life.

I'm being yanked away from my thoughts when I feel how people keep being pushed against us. I look around and see how crowded the huge courtyard has gotten in just a few minutes. I pull Zane and Niles closer to me before looking over at the crowd. I really hope they will tell us soon why we are here before someone will get crushed.

Every now and then my eyes fall on a peacekeeper on the outlines of the crowd, trying to keep everything calm and quiet. They have gotten quite harsher after the wars end than they were before. Before they weren't that stern with all the rules; you could break many of the minor ones without them interfering, but now they punish you for everything, even things that never had been illegal before. Now, they tend to punish people for everything. I guess the Capitol wants to break us down, that they want to make us so weak and afraid that we won't attempt any more rebellions for quite some while. They have even raised a huge fence around the district that is always electrified, making us stay within its boundaries at all times. I remember how people I knew before used to go out hunting in the forest surrounding the district before the war. Now they can't do that anymore. The Capitol has deprived us of many of our former privileges, and I can't fathom how it is for the lower districts since they had it much worse than we did before the war. I know that Chord is worried sometimes about his friends in 5, and I try to soothe him as much as I can, reassuring him that they are okay, that they are fine, but I know he doesn't quite trust this.

I watch out over the courtyard to find a huge pole sticking up from the ground in its center, very strangely if you don't know its function. I know of its use though. I have seen too many people being dragged towards it before being tied to it, only to become whipped senseless by some sadistic peacekeeper. And not only adults but also a few children have been receiving this treatment. And then they try to justify it by saying that they had broken a rule and deserved it. They even say this when they accidently kill someone by whipping them too much.

I close my eyes as I remember a young boy who was being whipped unconscious some weeks ago. I can still hear his cries ring through my mind, time and time again until he fell silent as he slipped into unconsciousness. He never came out of it. Now he is one of the few people who are lying in our new cemetery. Luckily none of my protégées have broken any rules and found themselves in this situation. I don't know how I could deal with it.

But however bad we're having it now after the rebellions abrupt end, I know that it could be far worse. In a national broadcast, not even a month ago, the Capitol showed us how they bombed down District 13 for 'a great duplicity', which means that they still tried to work against the Capitol. They showed us how they dropped bomb after bomb down on the villages, down on the unknowing people. They showed us a few people running around in panic, utter alarm showing plainly in their faces as they got hit by the missiles.

They even showed us how the entire district had been leveled with the ground afterwards, smoke searing up from the remnants of the former houses after the bombs. A few charcoal black bodies lying scattered on the ground. They told us that nothing would be able to live there for a long time, and I believe them. Not only is the district swiped off the face of the earth, but it looks poisoned, radioactive. In the footages you cannot see any living thing around. Everything is dead, covered with coal. Everything is turned black, the color of death…

After this event people here at home became more careful for a while, avoiding the same fate as our friends in 13 had been encountered to. People still live in fear of being struck by missiles, we still fear of doing something wrong. We still fear that we're next in line.

I clench my throat and take some deep breaths trying to keep from crying over this. Over the fate of the human race, over how we have resorted to war and death threats. I hug Zane closer to me as I feel Chord resting his hand on my back, stroking me soothingly. It helps. I don't start crying.

I hear how someone slaps a microphone and I find myself being ripped away from my thoughts. At the stage I see our new mayor, Mr. Bellantyn. I don't like him. Unlike our last mayor, a Mr. Styce, this successor is extremely snobby. He is always seen wearing 'fancy' clothes and is always tinting his hair in weird colors. He has also had extended plastic surgery, which shows plainly on his face. His lips are huge, his eyes are lifted so they are crooked and even if he hasn't passed the age of thirty yet he looks about double as old. But what can you expect from a resident of the Capitol?

Today he is wearing a crimson red suit that is just disgusting to look at. I can't believe this is what they wear in the Capitol, it's simply awful. And then the small amount of hair on his almost bald head is tinted a matching color… I wonder if he really thinks this is considered to be beautiful out here. He looks like some sort of alien.

"Good day everybody," he starts off; and I notice he sounds quite excited. I hope it's something nice he has to tell us. He continues: "I bare news from our Capitol, and very exciting ones at that. Our leaders have since the war's end been trying to find a way for us to never forget the terrors of its rage. And now, after many months of deep thinking they have found their answer."

I feel how my stomach begins to tingle. I don't like what it is he's saying. I can feel where this will lead; this speech of his will not end well, at least not for us. I know they have found another way to haunt us, to reprimand us yet again for trying to rise above their reign.

"A competition has been created; a competition that will unite the Capitol with all twelve districts. This competition will be held annually." He pauses, clears his throat while looking around over the crowd. "In two months' time we will hold a reaping here in District 1, where we will choose one young man and woman between the ages of twelve and eighteen that will represent this district in these games. The reaping has been designed so it will be fair to everybody; at the age of twelve you will receive one ticket with your name on it, at thirteen you will have two, at fourteen three and so on. But let's say that you are poor, and you don't have enough food. You can trade in another ticket for a year supply of corn and flour, and you can trade how many times you want, but with each trade another ticket will be signed with your name.

These tickets will be collected into bins; one for the ladies, and one for the gentlemen. During the reaping one of these tickets will be picked out randomly, and the person whose name is written on the ticket is the one who will represent our district. However…" He looks around again over the entire courtyard. "However, one can always volunteer for another, choosing to go oneself to this competition. But, you can only volunteer for a person of the same gender, a boy cannot volunteer for a girl and vice versa."

He takes a break in his speech, allowing us to let the information given so far sink in a bit in our minds. I look down at Zane, he's twelve, and he will receive a ticket. He might be chosen to be part of this competition, whatever it will be. And so will I, and Chord too. If we're really unlucky, both I and Chord might get picked, being forced to leave all four children alone. But that won't happen, and even if we were to get picked we would be back in no time whatsoever. Mr. Bellantyn has begun talking again I notice midway in my thoughts so I begin to listen again. I know I have missed something, but how important could it have been?

"So, only one will be able to go back to their district after this competitions end. Only one, the winner, will ever get to come home again." Oh crap! Seems like it was something important that I missed. I look up at Chord and I see how his face has whitened, and I realize that it must've been something horrible that I missed. I focus yet again on Mr. Bellantyn's words.

"This competition will from now and always be called The Hunger Games. I will be happy to see you all here again in two months, and make sure to look your best as we will be broadcasted nationwide!" he finishes with a huge grin on his face.

I pick up little Iason as Chord picks up sweet Niles and we all begin to walk home. Nobody of us speaks a word, but I can see how Niles looks from me to Chord and I realize she knows what might happen in a near future. I smile at her and decide to let her know that we won't go anywhere, that we won't disappear.

The day slowly passed after the mornings chocking news. I watched the day pass on as in a haze, I couldn't interact with the others. I just thought about these so called Hunger Games and wondered what they would contain. I wanted to just ask Chord so badly, but I didn't want any of the children to hear me. At some point of the day he went out, I don't know where to, I hardly noticed him leaving, even though I can recall him telling me about it before he left.

When night finally fell and we all went to bed I spoke to Chord and asked him what it was I had missed. He told me that these twenty-four children chosen to be part of the games would be put in an arena where they would fight until just one remained, and that this one would become the victor. This victor would withhold great wealth and honor. Every district would also be obliged to build twelve houses where possible victors would live on their return.

These news really surprised me, and it took quite some time before I realize what it actually meant. That it would come so that the twenty-four children chosen for this 'game' would be forced to actually… murder one another, until only one kid were still left alive.

"Cleo… Our mayor signed a treaty where he agreed with this decision, all of the mayors did. All of the districts leaders signed this agreement." He looks at me concerned while telling me this. It is quite hard for me to think, all my thoughts are blurry. But then the news sunk in, and I understood what it meant. It meant that all of the twelve districts mayors have agreed to that two of their children would die each year. But what did they got out of it?

"Why?" He shakes his head as he tells me.

"Because they would be given more money. Simple as that. Mr. Bellantyn's secretary told us about it. She had heard the whole thing from the other side of the door." I can't believe it. To do such a horrible thing, just for a bit of money… It's sickening, it's wretched, and it's just appalling.

As all of these news really sank in I felt my face turn pale. I felt a single tear falling down my cheek, making its way towards my chin. Chord embraced me, sheltering me with his arms as I lay down beside him. I buried myself down as close I could get beside him. And then I just lay there, thinking about these Hunger Games, until I after several hours finally fell asleep only to dream horrible nightmares where Chord and Zane played the main characters.

I watch as Mr. Bellantyn points them out to go to the games, me and the other children being left behind. I try to reach them, but peacekeepers hold me back just as I am about to touch Chord's fingertips reaching towards me. Then we're being pulled apart without any goodbyes, and I scream at the peacekeepers. I kick them and I hit them with every little piece of strength in my body, but they're gone.

I watched how they were forced to be part of these games, I watched as they were fighting other children. I saw how they both died time and time again on account of various different children in various different ways. I saw them being cut in two, how they were stabbed multiple times, how they were unable to rescue themselves. I viewed how they were tortured, how they starved from lack of food, how they suffered from great injuries, and I could do nothing to help them.

I screamed, out of fear for them, and out of distress for not being able to reach them. I screamed as I weren't able to help them, as I was not able to heal their wounds, as I couldn't ease them. I screamed my lungs out; I shed too many tears to count. I buried my face in my hands, but the images of their deaths haunted me everywhere. I scratched my face till it bled but the only thing that I could think about was those two. I couldn't hide, I couldn't escape them, the images were always there. They were always there to frighten me. No matter how much I tried they wouldn't go away, they refused to disappear.

I tried to run away; I ran through forests, I ran through deserts, I ran through huge plains, but they never left my side. They were always right in front of me, no matter how many times I changed direction they were always right in front of my eyes for me to see. It is the most scared I have ever been.

When I finally managed to escape the dreams hold of me by awaking I wept, I cried out of fear that this might really occur, but also out of joy that it hadn't. I cried out of relief that they weren't dead, out of relief that they were both alive.

I saw the morning light simmer through the curtains of my bedroom window and I knew the morning had come long ago. By reaching across the bed I knew that Chord had already left, probably long ago, for work. I got out of the bed where I had been haunted for hours, and I stepped out of my room and down to the room that Zane and Iason shared. I saw them both lying in their beds, still sleeping soundly, and I merely stood there for minutes, just to enjoy the sight of them being alive and healthy. I listen to their breaths, their steady breaths and I lean back at the doorframe, and slowly slide down on the floor. I close my eyes and release a huge sigh of sheer relief.

Everything's alright. They're all fine.

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	3. It Is Here

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I can't believe how fast these past two months actually passed. It feels like it was yesterday that they first told us about the 'games'. But of course it wasn't. Since then they really changed the appearance of the entire district. Not only did they built the victory houses in a new-founded village near the core of this district, but the peacekeepers made sure that everybody cleaned up the appearances of every other house in the district. We were forced to paint our house; it didn't have any on it before, so they thought it looked as if we were poor – which we are – and they thought it couldn't be so. They didn't even give us money for any of this; they just threatened us with being whipped or worse if we hadn't painted it before the camera crews came. And by 'they' I mean the peace keepers.

We were far from worst off though – I knew many who had been required to rebuild their entire house since it wasn't 'camera worthy'. I damn these capitol residents who demand this perfection from us! And I also wonder if the other districts too are experiencing this, or if they are being left alone since they aren't supposed to be that rich? I mean, even if this district is richer than most we don't have the money for doing all of this, just so some illusion of this districts wealth can be kept! It's just stupid, plain stupid. This money could've been put to use in so many better ways; we could have given it to the orphanage, or to the hospital, or just making sure that the poorer families got enough to eat. But no, it shall be spent on paint and flowers…

I don't say any of my thoughts aloud though, not even to Chord. Who knows who might hear me? I could get sent away for my rebellious thoughts; I could get tortured, killed. But I suppose that still wouldn't be as bad as being reaped into the hunger games. So I hide them deep inside myself instead, praying for things to get better, for everybody.

Every night since that announcement of the games I have dreamt nightmares; they haunt me whenever I try to relax. You can see it clearly on my face; it is pale and has dark circles under my eyes constantly. The circles won't go away, they're as tightly bound to me as the dreams. The only one who can make me forget about them altogether is Chord, when he showers me with love they just vanish from my mind.

I drag my butt out of bed and walk sheepishly over to my dresser, pulling out my 'nice' dress. It's really not that nice, it's just surprisingly whole and not discolored. It's a common light blue, knee-long dress. I take a quick shower before putting it on, and I feel how it is a bit tight around my entire upper body. Soon I will have to give it to Carly.

On my way out of the bedroom I get a glimpse of myself in the mirror, and I have to walk back and study my face carefully. Despite the dark circles under my eyes I look so young, like a little kid, and I suddenly grasp the fact that I am only seventeen. I feel so much older. Not only have I lived with Chord for almost two whole years now, which actually feels like my entire life, but I am taking care of four children too. It's a bit weird thinking about how young I actually am.

I realize how much I have really changed in these last few years, maybe only months. I used to be so unsure of things, so scared of everything, sort of questioning my place in the world. Now I don't think about that too much, now I just worry about my family, about how to take care of them in better ways. I worry about the games, and how they can wretch my ideas of this idyllic family.

I have just begun to work again, down at the hospital as I had been thinking. It is quite different from what I was used too; instead of having war injuries like shots and stabs people usually come in with milder things, like a reluctant flu or stomach problems. Just those kinds of diseases that is fairly easy to manage. But I do know how to treat these ailments too; they were the basics to learn in the war.

And as suspected Mrs. Yule were just happy when I asked for work there. They really were understaffed and had trouble with being able to help everybody. In a district where there live around six thousand people and there only is one hospital with four working doctors and nurses it does get a bit stressful even if they just have simple stuff for them to treat.

And every now and then we can get in people who have been getting whipped or been punished in other ways by the peacekeepers, or people who have gotten in accidents either at home or at work. At these times we truly need more people, considering these injuries require that we are at least two trying to heal them.

But it's a relief knowing at least that Niles and Iason are doing okay at the kindergarten. They were sort of nervous in the beginning, as was I, but now a few weeks down the line they have made several friends and are happy when I leave them there. Niles really have benefitted from going there; she has opened up more, to us and everyone else, but she is still quite reserved and don't talk much. But I guess that'll come with time.

I walk over to all of the children's room, allowing Chord to take a little sleep-in for once. I'm sort of glad that neither I nor he is required to go to work today – which nobody is – so he will be able to spend the entire day with us, but I hate the reason why he is allowed to stay at home. These games are extracting the enjoyable parts out of everything nowadays. The games only makes us realize what we might lose if we're forced to go.

I wake up Carly first, with the response of her throwing my pillow at me before turning over and going back to sleep. I snicker before I wake her up again by shaking her shoulders lightly. This time she gets up though, a bit resistant. As I leave her room I hear her diving right back under her cover so I shout 'get up!' at her. I hear her moan and sitting up in the bed and I smile fondly imagining the picture of it in my mind.

I go from door to door and wake everybody up, and help the two smallest ones with getting properly dressed in their best clothes; a little green cotton dress for Niles and a clean, brown shirt and black pants for Iason. Then I walk towards the kitchen with the two to prepare a simple breakfast for us all. Some sandwiches will settle our hunger enough so we can stay up till lunch.

Niles and Iason are playing by the kitchen drawers. I smile as I walk around the kitchen, searching for the different toppings that people wants on their bread. Butter, cheese, slices of apple and Carly's strange favorite: dried clover leaves. I listen to the two children playing, and I hear them giggle from time to time. Iason's laughter is infectious, and I have to giggle for a bit even if I really am far too nervous for laughing right now.

I look out of the window that's above the two cabinets where I stand to fix the sandwiches. The sight isn't as bad as it was just a few months ago. The darkness of coal that surrounded the district when we came had been swept away by either weather or by the people who couldn't stand it any longer. Now I am faced with a warm, green picture instead; the ground had successfully managed to produce a deep green carpet for us to watch or walk on, and the few remaining birches were filled to the brim with emerald green leaves.

I want to plant some herbs out there, like parsley so I can make tastier pots, or chamomiles that are quite soothing to drink as a tea. Maybe even some pieces of yarrow, which is an effective medicinal plant and could become quite useful if we would get struck by illness.

I finish the sandwiches and decide to call everybody to eat. I pass Zane on my way to wake Chord up, and I can see how nervous the boy is. His eyes are filled to the brim with panic and his entire body is shaking. I stop him concerned and look into his eyes.

"You are going to be alright, you know that right?" I tell him. He nods and I can see that these few simple words managed to make at least some of his panic fade. I hug him closely and his arms lock behind my back.

"Thanks Cleo," he whispers in my ear and as I pull away from our hug I smile reassuringly at him. I pat his shoulder before walking on towards the bedroom where Chord is still lying. I sit down on the edge of the bed and lean down towards him. I kiss his jaw a few times, and in between small pecks on his neck I ask him to wake up.

"Chord..," kiss, "it's time to wake up..," kiss, "Chord..," kiss, "breakfast is ready". He groans loudly before he slowly opens his sleepy eyes. He smiles as I kiss his lips. I get up from the bed and tell him to get up once more as I go out of the room and head back to the kitchen where I find all four children waiting for us.

"Hurry up Chord! The kids are hungry!"

As I stand in the doorway of the kitchen my eyes fall upon the small collection of photographs we have. Altogether we have seven photos, but there is one of them that I'm particularly fond of. Even though we were forced to take it so that the government would have us in their record, it is the only one were the entire family is gathered. We also have six pictures showing us one by one, but they're just not as special. In the family picture though I and Chord sit next to each other, holding Niles and Iason, and Carly and Zane standing beside us on each side, holding their hands upon out shoulder's. And my favorite part of it is the warm look on everybody's faces; how they all smile as if all bad things are gone, even if it were so for only that minute. I hope that we'll be like this someday again, without worries.

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We don't talk much while we eat, the pressure of what's awaiting is daunting. I can only think about how I really hope that neither of us will be on those chosen tickets. I watch Zane and Chord eat their sandwiches slowly, thoughtfully. I guess they're thinking pretty much the same things as I am. I wonder though what Carly, Niles and little Iason are thinking. I don't even know if Iason actually understands what is about to happen, if he realizes what these games are all about. I hope not. He is way too young to be troubled with such things, all of them are.

But I believe he is rather clueless; he is the only one at this table who is seemingly eating, or at least trying to eat. He lifts his bread to his face multiple times but most of his butter ends up on his face, and the bread crumbles underneath his chubby little fingers, leaving a huge hole in the bread. I will have to clean him up before we go.

And Niles for once deserves safety, not the insecurity these games will bring. These last few months I don't know what has been going round in her little head. She had just begun to open up to us, relying on us, but after the gathering outside the Justice building she clenched up again, not showing anything to us anymore. I believe it is due to that she really understands what these games can do to her, and she doesn't want it to. I have really tried to let her know nothing will happen to us, but its either not this that she's thinking about at all, or that she simply doesn't trust my words.

It was only after her first days at daycare that she once again opened up, and those days I can easily count to be a part of my favorite days since we got back home.

I look at her a few times while I eat, and I just hope she will begin to open up more to us. Showing us her feelings, her inner thoughts. I want to tell her that none of us are in any real danger. None of us have taken out any extra tickets; we have enough food without them. This does so that Zane luckily only has one ticket, and that I and Chord have six and seven tickets each. I know some people who are trying to feed huge families, and these have over twenty tickets each, and I truly pity them. They will have a greater probability than the rest of us to get drawn today. I wonder how daunting today must be to them.

When I look over at Zane I notice that he have hardly eaten anything at all, and I try to urge him on, but it's no use, it's like talking to a rocks. He doesn't even hear me speak his name, he is focused solemnly on his own thoughts. I don't feel like eating myself either, but I find it easier to get the other ones to eat by doing so myself, so I force the food down my dry throat.

I hear a loud bell ring outside, and I know it's them calling out for us, letting us know it is time to go. I look over at Chord, panic showing clearly from my eyes. He looks a bit startled too. I take a few deep breaths and nod my head at him before standing up and preparing us for leaving. I pick up Iason, quickly cleaning away the crumbs and butter around his mouth and follow Chord outside. Carly and Zane are following me closely, I can practically hear their scared breaths behind me, and it kills me that I can't think of anything reassuring to tell them.

Outside we meet up with Mr. and Mrs. Overwill who have agreed to take care of the three smaller children during the reaping since me, Chord and Zane will be forced to stand in some sort of folly they set up yesterday in the courtyard where we are supposed to be for this 'reaping'. They look just as depressed as I feel. They're both wearing fully black clothes, as if they're preparing to loose someone they'll love. They don't have any relatives that can get picked as far as I know, so I don't know who they might fear of losing. Being their neighbors I suppose they might fear that one of us will get reaped, and thinking of it I realize we're among the closest friends they got.

I hug Mrs. Overwill as I reach her, and greet her by saying:

"Hi, Bridget," and seeing her concerned face I add a bit worryingly, "how are you today?" She just waves it away with a simple 'fine'. None of us say a word as we begin to walk down the street towards the justice building which we only live a few blocks away from. I can see how Mrs. Overwill looks over at me quite worryingly as soon as she thinks I can't see her, so I smile at her reassuring, letting her know that I'm okay, even though I really am not. I have a bad feeling in my stomach, and it only seems to grow the closer we get to the courtyard.

The sight of it is truly daunting; they have set up huge cameras all over the area, and the courtyard is completely filled with peacekeepers in their white uniforms. I feel how the panic is building up in my stomach, but a small supportive squeeze of my hand from Chord helps me to overcome it and I follow the others. I leave Iason to Mrs. Overwill as Niles clings to Carly's dress. I kiss and hug all three of them, and pat them on their cheeks. I tell them all that I love them, just in case the worst will happen, and then I'm being led to the follies by Chord.

"You'll be okay. They're not gonna pick you." is all that Chord whispers to me as we walk slowly to the other boys and girls. I see how the peacekeepers in front of us are separating the girls from the boys, leading them to separate follies. I realize I won't be able to stand next to Chord or Zane during this 'reaping' but I stay strong and walk over to the other girls in the right folly after hugging them both tightly to me.

Walking to my folly I look up at the stage they have built particularly for this occasion. I see Mr. Bellantyn sitting up there with his wife. He looks a bit haunted. Just as me he has huge bags under his eyes. The people in this town have made sure to make his life a living hell for the past couple of months, knowing that this is partly his fault. They don't allow him to sleep, and they taunt him whenever the peacekeepers aren't nearby to aid him. They don't do anything serious though, they are still too scared to do anything drastic, but I have a feeling that after these games have begun their temper will make them crazy for his life. I believe they won't care about that much about punishment once too many children has fallen due to the mayors decisions.

I wonder what his wife thinks of it. They don't have any children as far as I know, but she might like them anyway. But she too origins from the Capitol, she shares their twisted ways of thinking. She might not care at all like him. She might just see it as a new form of entertainment. And considering she doesn't like it here, she finds it to dirty and boring but stays anyway since she doesn't want to leave her husband (for some reason), she might actually get a kick out of seeing people she knows out in the world getting murdered.

I turn my gaze from the infamous pair and look towards the girl's folly. I can't see any girl I know here, so I just stand by myself as close to the edge heading the boys section that I can come. I can see Chord and Zane standing by each other, looking at me, and I mouth "We're going to be okay" time and time again. I don't know if they understand what I'm trying to tell them, or if they can even see the words I mouth, but it's a comfort just saying them. I hardly notice how the follies are crowding up; I only focus on the two boys in the other folly. And in the back of my head I think about the rest of my family standing quite far behind me, watching anxiously and waiting for this to go well.

I watch Chord's worried face, and I wonder how many more times I will be forced to watch it when the other kids have grown up and they will be here themselves. I wonder how Chord will take it when Niles will be here for the first time; she is his little angel, he loves her so much. He denies her nothing. It will be painful watching her be in this position. Or Carly. Or Iason. Zane too for that matter.

I hear a woman shouting into the microphone and I force my eyes away from the two and up towards the stage. The sight of the woman standing up there scares me; Mr. Bellantyn with his crimson suit and hair is nothing comparing with this creature up on stage. She has a huge hairdo, kind of like some 18th-century girls had in a picture I saw once, shooting up three feet into the air. But while the 18th-century girl's hair was white, this woman's hair is neon green. And on top of this she has put huge, violet flowers all over the hair.

Still, it isn't her hair that is the most chocking part of her; it's her sparkly silver clothes. I can't really get a grip on whether it is a dress or a costume of some sort. It is sleek down her entire body, but then it swells up around her feet, making it look like she's sticking up from a huge bubble. I really wonder how they do dress in the Capitol. She once again shouts into the microphone:

"Weelcoooomeeeee!" If she keeps screaming I will personally go up there and hit her in the face with that microphone. Luckily for her, the next words out of her mouth are spoken, not shrieked.

"And happy hunger games! My name is Gliese Combe, and I will be District 1 escort in these games. As you all know, this is the very first hunger games, and it is really exiting isn't it!?" She looks out over us, expecting us to cheer or something, but why would we? Why celebrate that twenty-three children will get slaughtered for the first time annually?

When she realizes she won't get a response from us she starts to pick at her clothes with her hands as she continues her speech, suddenly looking very nervous. As if she's thinking that we will eat her alive. It might be an intriguing thought actually if you discard the small fact of eating human flesh… Watching this Capitolist twinge in pain… Oh no, I'm becoming one of them here, just wishing for their death…

"Anyway, I will now draw the ticket on which the female tributes name is written," she skips over to one of the balls, slips her hand down in it, circling around for a moment, and then chooses one of the tickets. She walks back to the microphone and pauses for a moment before opening the ticket. I can hear how everybody takes a deep breath as she unfolds the note, and I close my eyes, still chanting my words: 'we'll be okay, we'll be okay'.

"Skyla Keene!" I open my eyes again as I don't recognize the name she said, and I quickly look around the crowd in search for this poor girl. My eyes eventually fall on a girl moving towards the stage. She looks to be around fifteen years old. Poor thing. I watch as she walks up to where Gliese stands, her head tilted down towards the ground and her golden blonde locks falling around her face, shielding her face from the crowd. Nobody can see her face, and therefor nobody can read the thoughts of hers from it either. Gliese hurries over to her and pulls her in a quick pace towards the microphone near the edge of the stage.

"Do we have any volunteers instead of little Skyla?" Gliese asks us girls in the crowd. It feels really bad knowing that I can do something to save this girl up there, but I have a family to think about, so I do nothing. I feel completely shameful over it though. I look around, only to see that nobody is looking up at the stage, avoiding being accidentally pulled into this mess. I can't recent them for it either, I don't want to end up there either. I am no better than them. Soon our escort's patience runs out and she turns her focus onto the girl once more.

"So, daaarrrling," she's purring out like some cat, weird.., "how lucky you are to have been reaped. How old are you actually?" The girl only looks down on the ground and by her small twitches I understand that she's crying. Poor thing.

"Come on now, how old are you little girl?" Gliese mutters out sounding quite annoyed. She really doesn't have much patience. When she still doesn't answers Gliese almost goes bonanza, but manages to get a grip of herself and hisses out the question once more. "How… old are you?!"

"Fourteen." The little girl whispers into the microphone, and I, probably along with several others, can hear how panicked she is about being up there.

"Well, well, only fourteen." Gliese cheers on, happy once again. She seems to be suffering from some severe mood swings as far as I can tell. "But we won't count you out, that's for sure! And now onto the boys!" she cries joyfully and actually skip over to their bin. She picks out one of their tickets and I look over at Chord and Zane while still whispering my words. We'll be okay, we'll be okay, we'll be okay.

They look down onto the ground, eyes fiercely closed. Oh how I wish I could calm them down! How I wish I could stand beside them! I squeeze my hands together and pray for it not to be any of their names being written on that paper. I hear Gliese opening the ticket as I stare upon the frozen boys. We'll be okay…

"Zane Whistlewart!"

"NOOOOO!" I hear someone scream. I slowly realize that it is me screaming as I fall down on my knees, clenching my hands to my ears, trying to force the sound of this name out of my head. He can't get picked, he just can't! I have lost too much in my sorry life, I can't lose him too! I can't take this now! Why? Why?! Why does everything around me crumble beneath me?

I feel someone patting me on my back and I shake my body to get their filthy hands of me. They don't understand my pain, they don't understand how it feels, and they can certainly not comfort me now!

"Don't!" I mutter out angrily and the hand quickly vanishes from my body. I reach up my hands once more to my face and place my palms over it, shielding me from the people around me, allowing me to cry on my own. Why little Zane? He's so little and innocent, he won't make it far in this bloodbath, he can't kill people! Why?! Why can't I volunteer for him..?

"I volunteer!" I hear someone shout, and for a brief moment I feel a rush of utter bliss pass through my body, a rush of warmth that spreads through my every vein, but in the next moment I recognize the voice and my blood freezes to ice. It can't be… No, not him… Everything but him… I stand up and look around for the person whom the voice belonged to, and of course it is him.

Chord has volunteered and is walking up towards the stage.


	4. Saying Goodbye

**Hi, and good day to all of you from Sweden :) This is a really sad chapter, but I suppose that most of these will be a bit gloomy, there isn't all that much about the HG that really are "happy-go-lucky". Well anyway, enjoy! :)**

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I stare blankly at the sight up on the stage. There he stands, the love of my life, on his probable death row, ready for an imminent execution. My head won't process it fully; it won't admit what I already know. That I will never see him again; that he will be lost to me forever hereafter. That he will never come back home.

My eyes are dry, my mind is blank. I can't think. I can't understand.

I can remotely make up what is being said around me. I can hear them pity me, pity Chord, pity Zane. I don't want their pity, I don't want their negative thoughts near me. In pure despite I decide that Chord will make it, he will get home. He has no choice. He has to show these people, he has to let them know what he's worth. Even if that means the unthinkable, that he will be forced to kill all twenty-three children himself.

I'm being selfish now. I know that. But I want him back, I want him back so badly, and these people have given me even more reasons why.

I curl my toes, I grit my teeth sternly together and I clench my fists alongside my entire body in a small attempt to keep from screaming out of frustration. My entire body stiffens trying to keep the screams away as they only seem to come nearer for me to burst out. He can't leave me alone. Two years is too little time with him, I need more. I crave more. I crave for his existence to be near me still. To be with me forever. I can't survive without him. How am I supposed to? And how will the children take it. Through my still hazed condition I turn my head so I can look over at Zane, and just like me he is in utter shock over Chord's sudden outburst. I slide under the ropes that make up my folly and walk the few steps over to Zane and embrace him in my arms. I shelter him from the sight of those up on stage by holding his head to my shoulder, and as he begins to shake both from relief and sorrow I tilt my head down so my cheek is resting on his head.

I feel his tears soaking through the fabric of my dress, and I stroke his back with my hands in a sad attempt at comforting him. Just as I thought it doesn't work. I give up in frustration and stop moving my hands as I look up at the stage once more just to see how they are leading away Chord and the little girl into the justice building.

I begin to panic. We haven't even been allowed to tell him goodbye. I don't have to worry about it long though. Up on the stage Mr. Bellantyn is stepping over to the microphone, and grips it lightly.

"For all of you who wishes to say goodbye to our two tributes they are given an hour for visits before their leave to the Capitol. Just so you all know," he drifts off slowly, and my grip around Zane tightens for a moment with the response of a muted moan from him. I quickly release him from my hold and our eyes meet for a brief moment before we run back to the others in the crowd. We find the Overwill's and the children and together all of us hurry into the justice building.

We aren't the first ones there. Sitting on some couches in the middle of the waiting room sits a huge group of people, and since I don't know any of them I guess they are here on account of the girl. Skyla. I wonder if somebody else will come to visit Chord. He doesn't know all too many people. He has only been here for six months, and a great deal of that time has been spent with building our house or taking care of the kids. But he ought to know some people from work.

We sit down on two small couches near the back corner in the room. I hold on to Niles; Zane and Carly sits on either side of me, Carly holding Iason in her arms, who for once is fairly calm and doesn't try to slide down or jump up or anything. He just sits there and looks at us all.

The entire room is quiet, and awkwardly so. I want to tell them how sorry I'm on their behalf, but since I wouldn't want them to say it to me, I keep my mouth shut.

When ten minutes have passed without anybody coming to show us to our loved ones I begin to worry. I thought they said we had an hour. What the hell are they doing?

After five minutes more we can finally hear footsteps outside in the hall, and soon four peacekeepers step inside our room. We all stand up and look at them, and they sign for Skyla's group of family and friends to follow them. I sit back down with a sigh. They leave the room, but one of the older ladies from the group steps up to me and take my hand for a moment and squeeze it lightly before following the others.

I close my eyes and try to listen to what is going on outside of this room, but I can't hear anything. It's dead silent out there. I stroke Niles arms slowly as I wait. I look at Zane who is crying with his eyes fiercely shut, his hands clasping together in his knees and I realize gradually what it is that he is thinking about. I lean over to his ears and whisper in them so that nobody else will hear my words:

"It wasn't your fault. Trust me, it wasn't your fault." I don't know if the few idiotic words would help him, but I was far to dazed to be able to think of anything more reassuring to tell him. But when I felt his head resting lightly on my shoulder I knew that it was enough for him to hear right now.

Then suddenly footsteps are coming close rapidly, and three men launches in through the doors. I recognize them from Chord's work, and I think I know who all of them are. There's Adric, the blonde, nerdy guy who is in his mid-twenties, his girlfriend lives not even ten houses down our block. He is one of the few people I know whose family hasn't been wrecked due to the war. There's Hal, his mind is still stuck in the rebellion, and his eyes are always on his watch for danger. He lost his wife and two infant children, a pair of lovely twins, just two weeks into the war when a bomb blew up close to their tent. He made it out unharmed, but they didn't, and he blames himself for it. And then there's Ovis, the sixteen-year-old who just like Chord had to get a job in order to feed his family. His dad died, so now he and his mother are taking care of his seven brothers and sisters.

They all sit down near us, but they stand up just as quickly as some more white-dressed peacekeepers come and signs for us to follow their lead. They take us through long halls until we finally come to stand in front of a door where they tell us Chord is waiting.

"But you have to go in there in smaller groups, and each group will only get five minutes." Before I manage to think about it Adric, Hal and Ovis has volunteered to go in there first and soon they are in there. I sort of envy them, but at the same time I want to wait with it. The thought of seeing him for the very last time is daunting, it's terrible to even think of.

We decide that Bridget and her husband Toby will go next, then the children on their own, and then I will be saved for last. But that's just as good, then I will be given time to think about what to tell him. I have no idea what I would want him to hear. That I love him, of course, and that I always will. I want to tell him to win this, to come home. Home to me, home to the children, home to all of us who loves him. I want him to promise to do everything he can to come back.

I hear how the boys are coming back out from Chord's room and walking out of the door where we came from, and I gaze up to see how the Overwill's are going in instead. Time is beginning to run out. I have to make up my mind about what to tell him. But it's too hard. It's too hard to even imagine saying goodbye.

Oh, how I want him to come back home with me now, that all of this has been a dream, that it is just a wretched nightmare, taunting me in my sleep. But I know that this is too cruel for my mind to make up, too elaborate. I don't have the imagination to dream of this terror. But still, I hope I will just wake up in my bed with Chord sleeping beside me, with no signs of him going anywhere.

What can I tell him? To slay all others without remorse? To give up all of his principals? Why not just ask him to be everything he isn't. He is far too kind to do something like massacre a bunch of younglings.

But I can ask him to do his best to come home. That we'll be waiting for him. I can ask him to at least try to win this, for us all.

The time must be running quickly away as Bridget is coming out from Chord's room, quickly followed by her husband. I stand up and lead all four children to the door, and when they walk in I get a short glimpse of Chord standing in there waiting. When the door is shut in front of me I lean back at the wall and slide down on the floor, burying my face in my hands.

I wish Chord could slay, just for this once. I mean, he has done it before, but they were grown men and women, Capitol soldiers, and we were in a war against them. But this time it is different.

I know he can kill if he wishes to; I've helped him train for that sole purpose even. I know how good he is, how talented. When I helped him build up his strength after his injury in the war we spent a lot of time training with different weapons. It was required out of the soldiers to be able to control not only guns which were mostly used, but also things like swords and knives since mere firepower didn't always was needed. He was very skilled with weapons like knives even in his damaged stage, far better than me, but I succeeded him in one particular way. When it came to archery I beat him time and time again. Not to say he wasn't good at it, he was a fair archer, but I was simply better. It made sort of sense, considering that I had used it daily for a long time hunting animals, while he had only used it training every now and then on still dummies.

Watching him train with his short sword was enchanting. He was beautiful the way he was able to move with it, spinning around in circles, lashing out at imaginary targets, spinning the sword in every possible way. Even when he moved so slowly that he barely moved the few movements of his were just like art. He knew exactly how to use that thing to get everything out from it. It was just as clear to see that the sword was his weapon as it was to see that the bow was mine. He was lethal with that thing, counting on that he could get close enough to the enemy so he could actually use it.

I haven't actually seen him kill anything; I didn't know him before his injury, and he didn't get back into shape before the wars end. Even on the way back home it was me who made sure that we had meat to eat, and he found other things like greens and stuff to eat.

I do hope he will have use of all of his skills in the arena, and that he won't give up just because the other tributes probably are way younger than him. I know it is extremely selfish of me, but I want him to get back home, no matter who it is that has to die for it to happen.

I panic as I see the peacekeepers opening the doors and calling out the children. They walk out of the room soon and sit down next to the Overwill's. I've run out of time, what will I tell him? My thoughts scatter frantically through my mind as I get up from the floor and walk slowly toward the door. My head is entirely blank. I have no idea whatsoever about what I should tell him.

I walk in the door and I am greeted with his arms that encircle my body. My cheek is pressed against his. The warmth of it all causes my eyes to overflow, tears flood down my cheeks and fall down onto his back, wetting his shirt. Chord's hands strokes my back soothingly and I wish I could stop weeping, but there's no way I can stop it from streaming. He mutters out "it's okay, it's going to be okay" in my ear but I know it's not. I get a grip of myself; I force my tears away and pull myself away from his embrace. I stare into his brown eyes as I tell him:

"You have to come back!" my eyes should witness complete determination as I tell him this, letting him know that I'm more than serious about my request.

"I will," he answers simply, but it's not enough for me.

"Promise."

"I promise. I swear on my life, on yours, Zane's, Carly's, Niles' and Iason's life. I swear I will get back home. I will come back to you. We will be a family again." He looks dead serious as he makes his promise, and I trust him. I know that he will come back. I can feel it. There's no other outcome of this.

I bury my face in his neck again and mutter out:

"How will I make it until you get back? We haven't been apart for more than some hours before."

"You have the children, and you can always look at my picture whenever you miss me. And I will be with you constantly. I will never leave your side. You might not see me, but I will be there." I sigh before he continues. "I hope you won't mind I brought with me one of the pictures from home though." He drops his hands from my back and pulls out a small photo from his pocket. I look at the picture, and I instantly recognize the motive. It is the photo of our entire family gathered, and I have to streak away a tear that has suddenly appeared at the sight of the picture. It was such a happy moment. I hope we will have that at least once more.

"I don't mind," I tell him with a smile. I lean up to his face and gently kiss his lips. As I draw away I feel his hands on my back pulling me back, and our lips meet again, only more desperate this time. Our lips cling to each other as we kiss uncontrollably. I feel his tongue gently streak across my bottom lip begging for permission to enter, and I let it. Our tongues greet each other and play wildly as I lift my hands up so I can draw my fingers through Chord's golden hair. I tug it ever so harshly, but he doesn't even seem to notice. His arms are holding my neck softly; even in this desperate state of his he is still so careful with me.

I panic yet again as I hear footsteps outside the door and I draw myself even closer to Chord as the peacekeepers open the door and calls on me to go out. I refuse; I just keep holding on to Chord and kissing him breathless. They walk over and begin to tug on me, forcing me to let go of Chord. They bend my hands out from their grip of his hair leaving several locks of his hair in my fists as a result, and they force his arms away from my back where they dreadfully try to keep me close to their touch. Our lips are the last thing that breaks apart from each other. As they with huge effort and determination carry me away I shout "I love you!" time and time again to Chord as I with no results try to wriggle out of their grasp of me, and I can hear him cry out the exact same words.

As they close the door behind me they let me go and I fall down on the floor. I stare blankly in front of me and keep whispering "I love you, I love you, I love you." It becomes a chant. Even as I feel the children hugging me I still keep murmuring the words. I can't stop. I can feel how they pull me up and lead me out of the building, but I still won't stop mouthing my words.

They lead me down a street, and I find it sort of familiar. Then it hits me that it is the way to the train station. Of course. Chord will have to take the train to leave to the Capitol. I awake from my chant and look over at the people around me. They're all there: all four children and the Overwill's couple. Mr. Overwill seems to be carrying little Iason who is looking over at me. I pick up Niles who is walking on her own and walk in a faster tempo. We have to get there before Chord and the others do.

I need to see him one last time, I have to, just one more time before he goes. Just one more time…

I hardly see the people surrounding us on our way to the train station, bickering away about these tributes, not caring about who may hear them. I just avoid the few ones that are in my way. It feels like I'm far too slow to make it there, but in reality I was almost running the entire way there. I slowed my pace somewhat when I noticed how all the others had a hard time keeping up. As they caught up with me again we were fairly close to the station, so we made a final effort in keeping up our speed.

When we had been standing there, next to the train, for several minutes just waiting for a sign of Chord's arrival in the huge crowd of people I somewhat regretted being in such a hurry, since I had too much time to think instead. So I was hugely grateful but at the same time extremely miserable when we finally saw their deep-green car approaching. I couldn't believe this might be the last time I would ever see him. That I possibly will not be able to stare into his beautiful chocolate eyes again, to not be able to ever kiss his tender lips once more.

We watch as Gliese skips out of the car, in too much a hurry to even bother to wait for the chauffeur to open her door. Then we see little Skyla follow her closely. I can see that she has been crying, and a lot at that. I look around the crowd briskly to try to tell if her family is here, but I can't see them so I suppose not. She doesn't at least try to find them in the huge mix of people here, she just try to get away from here as quickly as possible.

I hug Niles tightly too me, her tiny arms gripping my neck tighter as a response as we all watch Chord stepping out of the massive car. My throat clenches when I finally accept that this is the last time I will see him for a long, long time.

As I watch him walk up the ramp to the train painfully slowly, he looks around the crowd that's encircling them goodbye, in search of us. But I don't try to get his attention, and neither does any of the children, the sound the horde of people surrounding us does would fade our weak voices flat immediately. Instead we just watch him walk towards his fate, grieving how horrible this day has turned out, both for him, for us, and for all others experiencing the exact same thing around Panem. We watch how he gets on the train without having found any of his loved ones here to tell him goodbye, and how his head falls down to his chest. This is a familiar movement to me, he always does this when he is sad, and I begin to regret that I didn't even try to get his attention.

I follow his movements through the tiny windows of the train, and I see how he sits down right beside the window where we're standing. I only pray that he will look up in time to see us here, that we will be able to say farewell to him. As if reading my mind his head slowly turns towards the window and our eyes meet for a brief second before the train begins to move. I can see how his hand begins a small wave just as his wagon is pulling away from our sight.

I sit down on my knees with all four children around me, and we watch how the train moves away from us in a quick tempo, carrying away the one thing that has made us all feel safe for the last month. He was the one who made us all happy, he was the one we all owed our lives. Without him I would have been a cynical bitch; having spent four years of my life watching people die might alone have made me wretched, but to then also be given the news of my family's death not one month after would give me a certain fate of horror. Chord kept me positive through all of this, and he even made sure that I always helped the ones I could.

And Carly would have been forced to watch me fall apart right in front of her, disintegrate into nothing, if it wasn't for Chord. He gave her a family after that hers had disappeared under her watch.

Zane, Niles and Iason truly owed Chord everything, without him they would still be wandering the streets. They would probably even be dead by now. A horrible thought.

We fall into each other's arms as the train slowly moves out of sight for us, and we keep embracing each other for who knows how long. I get too many stains on my dress to count, but it doesn't matter, that can always be washed away later. Right now it is more important that all of them will be allowed to cry their sorrow out.

I can feel Bridget patting my shoulder and I release one of my hands from its seat behind Zane's back to reach up and stroke it in return. This simple gesture is more than enough to let me know her feelings of seeing us like this. I try to smile at her too, but I can't manage to do that without breaking into even more tears so I turn my focus back on crying.

Eventually though, all of us runs out of tears, and we merely keep shaking next to each other for a short while. I look at all of them. I streak away some resistant tears from Niles cheeks, and rub Zane's hand for a while. I pat Carly's arms and lift up Iason in my knee. He is a bit grumpy, not knowing really why we all wouldn't stop crying. Why we wouldn't turn our focus on him. I tickle him a little bit and his temper disappears almost immediately, and is replaced with a smile instead. He smiles at all of us, and none of us can keep from smiling a bit ourselves. This guy is the one who gets us out of our sad states and up from the ground.

I look up at the sky above us, and to my huge surprise it hasn't changed all too much at all. Maybe the sun has changed its position a bit, but in my mind it should have been so much more. It feels like we have been sitting here for the entire day, that it should be dark out, but guessing from the sun, we haven't even been crying for a whole hour.

Still with Iason in my arms, and with Mr. Overwill picking up Niles, we all walk side by side together back to our home, at least attempting not to cry anymore, to be strong. To believe that he will come back.

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**So, a really sad chapter :(**

**Please review, it will help my writing a lot :D**


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